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From the Jan/Feb 2008 Issue
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The Laws
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| Laws of social behavior often sound like serious things until you realize they are really just somebody’s opinion. Take “Murphy’s Law” for instance. It states: “If anything can go wrong, it will.” Murphy’s opinion — probably after a bad day at work. As I got to thinking about some of these “laws” I realized there may be some that apply directly to shooters. Take, for instance, gun-grabbers like Sarah Brady. She exhibits a textbook case of “Benford’s Law of Controversy” which states: “Passion in any argument is inversely proportional to the amount of real information advanced.” The gun-grabbers are poster children for Benford’s Law. One of my favorites is “Godwin’s Law” — “The longer an argument drags on, the likelier someone will stoop to a Hitler or Nazi analogy.” How about this, from your wife, after a long argument about you taking so much time fussing with your reloading gear: “You’re such a Nazi when it comes to keeping your reloading stuff labeled.” Which also crosses into Benford’s Law, if you ask me. I think too many of the gun-forums on the Internet suffer from a wide range of maladies, many based on some of these laws. Arguments over minutia (“I say it’s 54.2 grains not 54.1 grains you ignorant fool!”) frequently digress toward Godwin’s Law and certainly Benford’s Law, sometimes simultaneously. “You make Hitler look like an angel due to your stubborn ability to refuse to realize your use of 54.2 grains of powder may cause your gun to blow up, killing innocent children nearby.” Oh, the humanity. But perhaps the best law to apply to the forums, and the Internet in general, is “Sturgeon’s Revelation,” named after science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon: “Ninety percent of everything is crud.” Well said, Ted. More Specific How about we drum-up some of our own laws? Venturino’s Law of Proportions might read: “The amount of lead on-hand is always less than you need for your next bullet-casting article.” Clint Smith’s Observation of Add-Ons states: “The number of useless widgets on any student’s gun is directly proportional to the number of magazine articles they’ve read.” Taffin’s Dilemma is something we’ve all encountered: “When confronted with a great deal on a .44 Special, you are unable to say no, even though you already have five and have yet to properly explain even one to your wife.” J.D. Jones’ Big Bore Corollary reads: “Just because you bought a .600 doesn’t mean you won’t need the .650 when it comes out — or the .700.” Of course, there’s John Connor’s Third Law of Bullet Magnetism: “If you feel you simply have to look around a corner to see if a bad guy is there, he will be there, and he will already have fired a shot precisely toward where you’re peeking out from.” I think I need to wade in here with Huntington’s Inverse Law of Writer Behavior: “The need for any writer to ask for an emergency extension of his deadline is inversely related to the already lengthy amount of time they’ve had to finish the article.” Which is closely connected with “Parkinson’s Law” which reads: “Work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion.” The Dilbert Principle One of my all time favorites is “Hegel’s Paradox”: “Man learns from history that man learns nothing from history.” That might be the best one of all. And keep “Clarke’s First Law” in mind, coined by famous science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke: “When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is almost certainly wrong.” According to “Joy’s Law,” formulated by Sun Microsystems co-founder Bill Joy: “No matter who you are, most of the smartest people work for someone else.” Something, I might add, I quote regularly when I deal with my writers. Especially Connor. Of course, they always counter with “The Dilbert Principle”: “The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — Management.” Then they usually pause and remind me I’m the editor which would, technically, make me management. So, conversations usually go something like this: Writer: I need more time for that article. |
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| Save Yourself My old bud, George E. Dvorchak, has knocked out a handy pocket-sized first aid book for the field. George is a rare bird indeed. He’s not only a senior writer in the hunting/guns field but an honest-to-gosh medical doctor, so he’s qualified to write this thing. George is in the hunting field almost constantly so understands the needs of the outdoorsman. This little book is full of “save your life” tips and techniques and it went right into my hunting gear bag. It’s only around $8 so it’s cheap enough even for you miserly Handgunner readers. Besides, George is an old friend, so buy his book so he can feed his kids, will you? It’s called the Pocket First Aid Field Guide. www.stoegerbooks.com. |
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| Handgun Hunting Well, he did it. That ner-do-well Gary Reeder (of Reeder Custom Guns) wrote a first-person, been-there, done-that, handgun hunting book. Gary’s shot just about everything, about everywhere, and I’ll bet only J.D. Jones might have killed more critters with a handgun. But it’d probably be close. Gary’s got a sense of humor as sharp as a thorn and a wit that keeps you paying attention so you don’t miss anything. While Gary covers his many cool handguns and proprietary cartridges in the book, it’s also chock full of “There we were, the jungle was dark, lions were roaring, the trackers had run-off and suddenly, the lion charged” stories. Only with Gary — it actually happened. This is a damn fun read and even as ornery as I am, I found myself finishing the entire book and learning lots in the process. Go to www.reedercustomguns.com to find it and tell them I sent you. Of course, he might hang up on you if you say that, so it’s your choice. |
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| There's more from Insider in the Jan/Feb issue... • Black Hills Ammo
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| This column is sponsored by: | ||||||
 www.lesbaer.com  www.kimberamerica.com |
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